Am I still dreaming?

I know you can relate if you're in the adoption world! First it starts with tons of research trying to find the right agency and believe me there are hundreds out there! And their information packets are full of stuff to read and more stuff to consider, costs, countries, time lines, and then whether or not you can "trust" an agency that most of my friends have never used. I mean, really, it's not like buying a vacuum or a car seat, things most of my friends own! And then once you've decided on an agency you have to hunt for someone to do your home study, find 10 friends to write references and apply to your agency. Then comes the dossier, tons of paper work to be filled in, written, notarized and state sealed. Once that is sent off you need to be fingerprinted by CIS and wait to be approved to bring in a child from overseas. And then you wait, and wait some more to be able to see that first picture of the child God has for you. And this is where we are at! We have a child in Ethiopia! We know her face and a few things about her personality. We've sent gifts and are beginning to think of a middle name for her that we will most likely call her by. (Although this has been very difficult.) And it all feels like a dream. Besides going to pick her up, this has been what we have been waiting for! A face to go with a dream. A dream that God planted so long ago in my heart. And she is real. Living and well. And you know what? God had already given me a heart for this little girl and she is exactly who I felt she was going to be. My biggest prayer was that our little girl would have known her mother's love, that she would have been breastfed and loved. I had continued to selfishly pray that she would have been with her momma most of her life before entering the orphanage. And that is exactly how God answered my prayer. That is exactly what God allowed to happen for this precious child. Although I do not know yet if she were breastfed or for how long, an Ethiopian-American friend of mine said that most likely she was nursed for at least 3 years and her health shows this. I also know that she has lived with her momma her whole life up till three weeks ago. This has been confirmed by an interview with her momma and the doctor's reports. And it is all over her face. She is so happy and joyful looking. Again, I don't know if this is what I had wanted or just God's voice in my heart and I just happened to be listening at the time. Our daughter was so loved by her mother. My prayer is that I can meet her mother when we travel to Addis Ababa. That I can hug her and tell her how beautiful she is and that she has been a wonderful mother. My prayer is that she will be able to see my love for this beautiful child, her daughter and that she will feel just a small bit of peace about letting her go. I pray that when we meet that Jesus will stand before me and that all she will see is His love for her. This is what I am praying for.

Smiles,
j

I'm sorry that I won't be able to post any pictures until we get home. It of course isn't illegal to post her picture but our agency wants to protect all the children in their care. So I am sorry to disappoint you. Please pray we can travel this summer.