Our First Post Placement Report

Ethiopia requires post placement adoption reports to be prepared by a licensed social worker at 3, 6 and 12 months. Then yearly after that until your child reaches the age of 18 years old. Those reports are self written. So this past Saturday was our first post placement (yeah only 6 weeks later not 12...). And it was such a blessing. Our social worker is employeed by AGCI and has a Michigan office. Her name is Trish. The post could be really long if I filled in all the details so I'll mention a few that changed my point of view and really made me feel like I knew what direction to head in. Trish told us that we needed to first look at our Major Cutie as a 0-6 month old emotionally. That we have never had an opportunity to meet her needs and so therefore we need to meet her needs like we would an infant. We feed her when she is hungry, take her potty when she needs to go, go immediately to her when she cries. Major cutie needs to know that dh and I will meet her every need. That is how trust is built. So instead of having my "set" eating times that are part of our normal routine I offer food whenever Major Cutie says she is hungry, which is all the time. I don't feel like she can possibly be hungry but that is not the point. My goal is to meet her basic need. Hunger. Whether it is real or not. So out comes an apple or carrots. Nothing too great (in her mind but she does like them), but healthy. I have met the need even if she decides she is no longer hungry. She also loves hard boiled eggs and bananas so I try to keep those on hand too. I try not to offer any crackers or other filler foods. Though we do eat those too. I had also been really frustrated with Major Cutie because she seems to hold a grudge and give me the silent treatment. Ya know how that feels. This was usually after a "time-in". In the adoption world this is somewhat like a "time-out" except that you don't leave the child alone, you sit with them, or hold them. After our time-in I will ask if she wants to join the others and play. She ALWAYS says no. Well Trish suggested I not ask her to join us. That she has to make so many decisions a day that I just need to scoop her up and say let's go play! Trish's whole point is that I want to remain connected to Major Cutie as much as I can. Another example would be that Major Cutie knows she can't ride her bike in the road. But she will ride up to the "line" look at me and then make the choice to go into the road! This is frustrating to me and so I will take her off her bike, tell her she can't ride it and then sit with her on the step for a time-in. Trish offered that we should just get her out of the road and take her somewhere else to play. To move her away from the "off limits" area and re-engage her in another activity. Just like you would an older infant. I didn't make my baby sit on steps when they were approaching the unforbidden, I would call out something more exciting and get them distracted. So that is what I am working on. I found the meeting very helpful. Our assignment was to really work on meeting her needs these next 6 weeks. I think I can do that!
And no new pictures to post this time...I plan to post our next Ethiopia "day" here soon and will include photos then!
Smiles,
j